APATHETIC AMBIVALENCE

Fleeting hopes are hard to follow, feeling like I'd rather wallow

Insincerity is all over the place these days

Running out to find new drama, each day seems to promise trauma

Growing up to raise your mama, optimism strays

Trying not to dwell on regrets, he ignores the hatred he gets

All the while this ire begets life that envies death

Filling in the empty places and the festering disgraces

And the lack of warm embraces with-- Don't laugh yet-- Meth...

===============================================

Everyday I waste by breathing, living losing any meaning, best friends with no time to mingle, living life and dying single, battle best left undefended, pray to see the whole thing ended, mend it with imagination, intimate or imitation? Patience is a well with limits, save your sorry scornful gimmicks, finished with this self-destruction, selflessness means soul-corruption, left inside my mind to wallow, "why were her words proven hollow?" Write or read, divert the sorrow, "I promise we'll hang out tomorrow", marrow melting, bones are bleeding, found my friendship self-defeating, pleading past my pragmatism, weakened wall of bad decisions, Floyd was right, the bricks keep coming, each one makes the last seem funny, comical beyond believing, 'What a worthless waste of breathing'...

...Still my lungs keep rising, falling, calls for comfort when she's bawling, calling Cody down for caring, "Take a picture freak, stop staring!" Glaring when my eyes diverted, how could caring be a burden?! Stored inside when I'm divided, not allowed, I'm uninvited, Quieted my disagreements, rarely backed by valid reasons, Decency secured your friendship, broken promises unmentioned, tantrums tempered not by logic, "Normal" needs the right narcotic...

...Conduct has become more snooty, blinding you to friends and duty, rudely cheapening your beauty, 'Damn! How good in bed could Hugh be?!', You believe you're My Immortal, used to be, both that and normal, back when I believed your morals, I hate that loving you is harmful, starting now to gain perspective, learn the truth of your objectives, I can vouch your charm's effective, but you tried too hard to stretch it, Wretched me for being loyal, keeping pure my mortal coil, "Hugh, don't let the 'water' boil!"... Too late, Hugh got 'burned' by 'Oil', Foiled attempts to rekindle our kinship, missteps of chance, a falsified friendship, rendered most recent of obsolete millions.. Should I have hazarded untrue appearance?..

Up here since my twin betrayed me, robbed and rebuked on a front of $180, after which claiming I'M greedy and shady, everything would be okay if you were a lady.. lately I'm fed up with everyone's bull shit, selling an 8-ball and thinking they're cool shit, Swallow your over-inflated pride and go gargle deteriorating wombat ball and anal sweat cracker! "WHO WANTS TO BE A ROTTING CARCUS?!?!" Take your ego and your lack of ethics, and redirect it till you've Earned your turn to be respected!!

By

~Codaniel Von Johnson~

Much Love

A Few Choice Words..

Delegation of Destruction in the trenches of the dead

Bio-Chemical construction, drink the wine and break the bread

Fleeing divine intervention, peacefully the death shall spread

Seeking supposed ascension, seeing through a veil of red

In its place disgrace has risen, higher than The Lord, Thy God

Trapped within the Father's prison, looking, too late, past the fraud

Trying to overthrow reason, yet continuing to prod

To achieve the greatest treason in a land drawn out so odd...

By

~Codaniel Von Johnson~

Much Love

A Doleful Dilemma

Despite this right to reconsider it without restraint

She felt me melt into my misdirection

The light inside is flickering and feels so fucking faint

I've settled in a cesspool of corruption

Which feels so chill but still it seems to overcome the taint

That she has left embedded in my person

I've never claimed a name that could be blamed upon a saint

But doubt she'll ever listen to my version

I've tried to hide, to fight, to make her see how much I care

But still she simply turns her back and mocks me

I long to prize her eyes again, caress her silken hair

But must deny my heart's desire by proxy...

By 

~Codaniel Von Johnson~

Much Love

A BRIED ANALYSIS

Yesterday I prayed for you to end it all pro-quo, What was it that made you think my inner thoughts you know?

You know only what I let you: nothing that matters, In a time with life sublime the innocent scatter

Fatter now than I remembered you had ever been, Coarser hair and under there you'll find decaying skin

Pin-ups of Jeff Hardy and Chyna adorn your wall, Why'd you take me in and then begin to destroy all?

Fall flat on your face and writhe if you're a Kindly One.. Sandman, Preacher, Watchmen and TransMetropolitan

Fun for you to show the flu-infected how they die, If I asked would you contact that Underwater Guy?

He controlled and slowly polled the Underwater Sea. If I were an Ocean would you do the same for me?

She's the one who came between us, Succubus at heart. She's the one who drew the lines which tore us two apart.

Start to think from my point of view if you think you can.. Understand the truth at hand, I'm just a lonely man.

Scan the cat and put it back "The Stubby Bitch Won't Do!" Find and grind one of your kind, someone who's just like you.

Never thought that you could trust another living being, So you go and kill me slowly, watching but not seeing.

We watched old movies together, talked of Becal's 'look', You and I were always by the Ghetto with a book.

Took from me my sense of being, nothing more exists. I for you could only do good as a catalyst.

Pissed as fuck that you could suck all goodness from my soul.. So I feign to be insane, but just a big asshole.

Troll the waters, see the otters, catch another fish, But inside we both know Chyna's WAY hotter than Trish.

Wish away this tooth decay before it sinks too deep, While I die your insides cry, for who I was you weep.

Reap and ravage like a savage, kill for the denounced, If I could I'd make things good before the feline pounced.

Bounced about and then thrown out to linger in my mind. Smell of sod and currency fraud while in my head I pined.

Find the path to simple math is deep within my brain. For your sins I cook pig-skins and eat them in the rain.

Train's a band I can not stand, their music licks my ass.. Turn it off before I Scoff and kill the little lass.

Pass it on before it's gone then hit it up again.. Why for this must you then kiss my only living kin??

Win or lose I'll buy the booze if I have got the funds, Dress it up then watch me drop and lick your cumberbunds..

Grunts of hate to salivate on anything intact, brush it off and give a cough as a matter of fact.

Tact is lost, shall soon be crossed by handsome gentlemen. Unaware you sit and stare.. along it comes again.

Pin the tail upon the frail and let them know their place. From this day I've gone away to live in my disgrace..

I am the Lizard King.. I can do anything... Except Live...

By

~Codaniel Von Johnson~

Much Love

A BOX POST-MARKED "PANDORA"

Feigning this disdain

For my refrain is incomplete

Deigning to be sane

It seems my pain is obsolete

Feeling unappealing

Has been stealing all my pride

Dealing with your kneeling

Left me reeling at your side

Trying this whole flying thing

Yet dying in the hall

Crying and denying

No use trying after all

Swept aside and then forgotten

What good do I do?

Wept and cried for how I fought

And lost my love for you

Death belied my youthful pride

Revealing it as folly

Breath inside begins to rot

Leaving me melancholy

End it here or see your fears

are mirrored in my aura

Painfully clear to see you dear

A box postmarked 'Pandora'...

By

~Codaniel Von Johnson~

Much Love

***...>PART 3<...***

...Drifting through the vast abysmal gulf, which transcends space and time

Nothing save a surly drizzle, and exceedingly morbid rhyme

Overcome with contemplation, how the past has led to this

Every choice throughout creation led me to this dark abyss

Had there been some deviation in the Universal Plan

I may likely not have taken the path to where I now am

Yet that proved fruitless to fathom, for one can not change the past

Raised within a shady stratum, morals simply can not last

Thus was I attuned to darkness, I and all I'd ever known

When the dark lord sought to mark us, no one could refuse alone

Yet we were all segregated, as a common rule of thumb

I withheld, I fought, debated, but in time was overcome

13 years in Satan's service, fearing sporadic rebuke

Stepping softly, ever nervous, lest I make some foolish fluke

When it came I sat awaiting retribution to ensue

Fervid fury now abating, as the truth comes into view

It would seem the dark lord's taken my most sinister advice

As his wicked wrath awakens all must pay the final price

A white flash consumes the cosmos, devastating all of space

Taking now an Awful Comfort... 

In Death's Absolute Embrace...

***...> ...BROUGHT ABOUT<...*** 

***...>THE END OF ALL CREATION... <...***

Thus Concludes the Epic 3 part mini-series,

"When Darkness Came Calling..." by

~Codaniel Von Johnson~

***...>PART 2<...***

...How can I describe such anguish as successively ensued


My whole being then did languish, yet my tormentor was shrewd


Letting my recover partially, lest I lose my strength and faint


Then commanding rather harshly to submit without complaint


Given time my will was broken, with the remnants of my spine


In my head a voice had spoken, merely three words, "YOU ARE MINE!"
As the truth of this sank deeper, so too did all thoughts of hope


Destined to, with the grim reaper, sometime scythe -in-hand elope


Rule conjointly this Hellish Realm: the Eternal Home of the Damned


Logic totally overwhelmed, in the Sea of Lost Souls I swam


Breaststroke, sidestroke, futilely fled I, with no predetermined goal


Someways out I came across my own cruelly-abandoned soul


This encounter was an odd one, as you likely may have guessed


Then this thing, this ill-begotten spirit put me through a test


Both hands firmly on my windpipe, he tensed up and tightly squeezed


Not prepared for trials of this type, I said meekly "Just Kill Me... 
Please.."
On the spot occured a union, brought together mind and soul


Now permanently marooned in some discarded endless hole


Brought back fully unto myself by these things I've just been shown


Never in my life have I felt so content, while so alone ...






***..>REGAINED MY PEACE OF MIND< ..***


Here ends PART 2 of 3 by
~Codaniel Von Johnson~
To be Concluded...

***...>PART 1<...***

Glancing gravely all around at the blackness to which I'd been lured

And then came a ghastly sound which, echoing through the dark was heard

Calling out in form sardonic, dragging down the last of me

Left me wondering, catatonic, over some absurdity

Far from finished with this sequence, though granted some short reprieve

Flocking toward unholy beacons, which doth my spirit deceive

Come full circle to the lighthouse, then to my knees driven down

Lurking quizically beside us, He who brought this all around

"Leave Me Be Immoral Master, Make Me Not Perform Thy Will..

Though I Covet Not Disaster, Make Use Of Thine Own True Skill!"

Grinning wide he struck a forceful blow unto my weary skull

Coming to I felt resourceful, though I'd likely sold my soul

Searching frenziedly for some sign, that of a route of escape

Left the world I'd known far behind to be, by The Shadow, raped

Resignation bred Damnation, from my doom I'll not withdraw

Nor shall I beseech salvation from beneath the Cerberus's paw

To what end might I attempt such spiritual deliverance?

Having felt Hell's intimate touch, made incarnate by my Sins

"Alas.." said I, hope retreating out beyond the breaking point

Dismally I lay entreating my Dark Master to anoint

Then there was a strange sensation, as my spine began to bend

For the Cerberus had awakened, here I met my bitter end...

***...>WHEN DARKNESS CAME CALLING <...***

Here ends Part 1 of 3 by

~Codaniel Von Johnson~

Mickey's Plasma Grenades!

(MICKEYS) PLASMA GRENADES

My lifeblood flow into a hose and vanishes from sight...

and where it goes from there, who knows? Not me, I'm not THAT bright...

But it is sold, or so I'm told, to those who've suffered trauma...

This liquid gold has been enrolled to save your sickly momma...

Ridiculously yours,

~Codaniel Von Johnson~